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This is a long one since it needs some setup. Bear with me.
So I’m friendly with this radio shock jock who shall remain nameless. He’s in Chicago now, and before that he was in San Francisco. That’s enough for you to identify him if you want.
Anyway, we are boozing it up on Sunday night and I ask him “Hey, you ever meet women that let you cum in their mouth?” since I haven’t – my wife point blank refuses to do that for me. He just looks at me and says “sure, all the time”.
Wow” I say, “I wonder what that’s like”.
On the monday driving into work I listen to his show and his call in question of the day is ‘Women, whats does it taste like?’. I’m laughing my ass off because I know it came from our conversation the night before.
I listen to some of what the women callers say. “Egg Whites”, “Mushrooms” and my favorite “Battery Acid”. (How would they know?)
That night I go home and tell the wife about the conversation the DJ and I had had, and the morning call in question. She asks what people had said it tastes like. I tell her them all, finishing with the battery acid answer. She says “Oh, it doesn’t taste like battery acid at all!”.
I look at her and ask “How do you know?”
Oh” she says, avoiding my eyes “didn’t I ever…?”
No” I say, pretty pissed off, and that’s the end of that conversation.
So I have to revisit my DJ friend to work on his computer a few nights later, and I relate the whole story to him. He thinks it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.
Next morning at 7am he calls us, on air, relates the whole damn story to the Chicagoland area and uses our real names. My wife is a catholic school teacher. She is not thrilled to say the least. He won’t get off the phone till she’s talked to him and agreed to do it for me.
Eventually she’s persuaded to talk to him, and agrees to do it.
The lowbrow moment?
The moment we put the phone down, it rings. I pick it up. It’s my sister in law, that’s heard everyword, knows its us and thinks its the funniest thing she’s ever heard.
Thank god she was laughing too hard to call my mother in law.