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when i was eighteen and still living with my parents my mother was very upset at the number of boyfriends i’d had in the past six months. she then demanded to know my bodycount.
now there was no way i was going to tell her that since being off the pill i’d fucked eleven guys and for girls so i said five and named off guys i’d introduced to her as beaus.
to which she replied “you’ve almost had sex with more people than me”
dear god, mom, i’m so sorry.