I accidentally left an unopened pop can in the front-seat drink holder of my car last night.
The temperature got down to the standard, single-digit (F) temps that we’ve seen for the last few weeks.
When I opened my car door, I found frozen stalagmites and stalagtites of soda on the seats and ceiling, embedded in what was immaculate upholstery only 12 hours before.
The windows were spattered with frozen white sludge in what one would imagine to be the blast-pattern of an ice-cream sneeze.
I tossed out the offending can, scraped off my windows, and blasted the heater all the way to work.
Most of it was melted and gone by the time I got to work; the rest will melt on the way home tonight.
I was half-panicked this morning about what I would do about it, but now I’m just glad that it was Sprite and not maynonnaise or jizz.