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UMCPong’s 3 laws of hummers
1. Turnabout is fair play: Anyone who wants to receive oral sex should give oral sex.
*Corollary: If you don’t swallow, neither should they. Therefore, girls never HAVE to swallow. (but we love it when you do, ladies)
2. Karma: Anyone who wants to receive oral sex WELL should learn to give oral sex well.
*Corollary: This is why I got my tongue peirced. The best $50 I ever spent.
3. The pleasure you’ll get from receiving it is directly proportional to the pleasure your partner gets giving it to you.
*Corollary: Shave your nads, dumbass. Noone wants to pick your pubes out of their teeth. (This applies to girls and guys, but guys shouldn’t shave their crotch unless they’re gay.)