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Lowbrow, relating to, or suitable for a person with little taste or intellectual interest. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lowbrow

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I don’t “do” snooze buttons.

I have four alarm clocks, three of which are battery operated and one that’s wind up.

They all have extremely loud clangy clang bells.

I set them each to go off every half hour in succession starting two hours before I actually have to get up.

Why?

Morning sex.